it is fun when they are your students. i had a great time at the first day at the competition, saw their full potential. i was really proud.
however.. yes, the however section.
the students who can't understand me, because i don't have a chinese accent.
apparently all the girls are "lovely girls" and all "love singing and dancing." where really, in class when i ask, they shake their head and say "i don't know how to."
it's not "smile" but smell.
blah blah..
20060525
20060520
someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection for lovers and dreamers like me..
hey.. so, many things have happened in the last few weeks.
today, i met up with some students at the west campus gate. i wore my new sandals, which got me bleeding at the end of the day, along with a tank. i was weary about the "dress code" in this city. how skimpy can i wear it? haha.. well. a wide strap tank was good with jeans rolled up. it was pretty good. their whole dorm came. that's 8 girls. we got onto #3 bus, the first time for me on the route. we went to bai li yuan park. it was the 2nd time i went there, this time i knew the name. but! things were different. the garden was totally made up. the bridge was the same. the concrete mock tree logs were still there. boats were there. but! this time i got to ride it. the students didn't let me paddle. they sang and we chatted and blah blah. it was really good and fun. lots of pictures. they were really sweet.
we went to find some food. we were hungry and walking. i should have brought them to where i knew, but we were led to a place with mediocre food. haha.. well.. blah. we ended up walking to get snacks then to chill out at my apartment. so we did, and they didn't want to leave. i was sorta tired, but of course kept that to myself. they ended up cooking dinner for me. i, was abashed. they told me that the day they had with me was a wonderful and important day that they will never forget. as passive and indifferent as i am usually, i know that it won't be a day i will forget. i'm very happy to be where i am.
apart from that, i think i have a very notable culture shock memo to include. well, hongmei would always remind me not to be sitting wherever, ie. the concrete steps. "it's very dirty," she says. of course back home, this is not even questioned. i sat, whatever. well. okay, back home we walk dogs, right? okay, here in jincheng, we walk children. "can't they walk themselves?" ray questions. what i'm trying to say is that there is a reason we walk dogs. kiddies have the same reason, too. i'll leave it to that. i've just seen enough to mention it. i know i will see this for the rest of the time i am here, which is crazy a bit, -don't you think?!
oh yeah, i went swimming with du mei qing and friends a while ago. i don't feel too nauseous when ladies are totally naked in the change room, though i'm a little shy. i just don't get the scrubbing each other's back totally in the nude. "no thanks mei qing, no thanks."
hmm.. anything else to say? of course, loads. been downloading good stuff. practicing the guitar. getting a bit better. have a big urge to write, and write some more. planning when i'm going to beijing this summer, perhaps shanghai.. thinking of my expenses.
hmm.. i'm jaywalking. i do this because the crosswalk is not safe. *expletive. it's not safe anywhere.
i tried to cook some stuff this week, and it didn't turn out so well. tried to copy/mock what a student made when she was at my house earlier this week. i thought she put more salt, i swear.
i love stabilo.
i still can't read my blog online.
i love prince now, too.
i still love the streets.
today, i met up with some students at the west campus gate. i wore my new sandals, which got me bleeding at the end of the day, along with a tank. i was weary about the "dress code" in this city. how skimpy can i wear it? haha.. well. a wide strap tank was good with jeans rolled up. it was pretty good. their whole dorm came. that's 8 girls. we got onto #3 bus, the first time for me on the route. we went to bai li yuan park. it was the 2nd time i went there, this time i knew the name. but! things were different. the garden was totally made up. the bridge was the same. the concrete mock tree logs were still there. boats were there. but! this time i got to ride it. the students didn't let me paddle. they sang and we chatted and blah blah. it was really good and fun. lots of pictures. they were really sweet.
we went to find some food. we were hungry and walking. i should have brought them to where i knew, but we were led to a place with mediocre food. haha.. well.. blah. we ended up walking to get snacks then to chill out at my apartment. so we did, and they didn't want to leave. i was sorta tired, but of course kept that to myself. they ended up cooking dinner for me. i, was abashed. they told me that the day they had with me was a wonderful and important day that they will never forget. as passive and indifferent as i am usually, i know that it won't be a day i will forget. i'm very happy to be where i am.
apart from that, i think i have a very notable culture shock memo to include. well, hongmei would always remind me not to be sitting wherever, ie. the concrete steps. "it's very dirty," she says. of course back home, this is not even questioned. i sat, whatever. well. okay, back home we walk dogs, right? okay, here in jincheng, we walk children. "can't they walk themselves?" ray questions. what i'm trying to say is that there is a reason we walk dogs. kiddies have the same reason, too. i'll leave it to that. i've just seen enough to mention it. i know i will see this for the rest of the time i am here, which is crazy a bit, -don't you think?!
oh yeah, i went swimming with du mei qing and friends a while ago. i don't feel too nauseous when ladies are totally naked in the change room, though i'm a little shy. i just don't get the scrubbing each other's back totally in the nude. "no thanks mei qing, no thanks."
hmm.. anything else to say? of course, loads. been downloading good stuff. practicing the guitar. getting a bit better. have a big urge to write, and write some more. planning when i'm going to beijing this summer, perhaps shanghai.. thinking of my expenses.
hmm.. i'm jaywalking. i do this because the crosswalk is not safe. *expletive. it's not safe anywhere.
i tried to cook some stuff this week, and it didn't turn out so well. tried to copy/mock what a student made when she was at my house earlier this week. i thought she put more salt, i swear.
i love stabilo.
i still can't read my blog online.
i love prince now, too.
i still love the streets.
till death
about two weeks ago, we (teachers of JIT college) got news that a professor who had been missing for weeks before that, had took his life down a well. he leaves his wife and daughter.
while i can't personally talk to his wife, another professor who happens to teach Phys Ed, i can feel many things for her. we don't speak the same language. i don't know her very well, though i've played ping pong with her.
i recognize her. in my first few memories of her, i remember a purple track suit, that she wears well, walking down the path to or from her home to the school buildings.
Mary and i pass her once as she came back from seeing her daughter off on the city bus. she tells us that she is doing so in Chinese. Mary gets this because she is a Mandarin genius.
i feel for her. being human, for the sake of, and nothing else.
i feel that it is selfish, but i just don't know. selfish of her late husband. despite! any qualms, any quarrels that lasted for as long as it did.
Mary says and calls her "the widow," now. i've never heard this word used in it's true definition before. i don't know any widows myself, and death to me is not something true now.
i had been thinking, and i know a lot of my friends see this in me, that, i'm really good in denying. i don't know if that is inherent of everyone, or is it just me.
i'm thinking this because, i've grown to believe whatever we put aside, shall sit and wallow as it should. brush what we don't believe on the side and not see the truth for the truth.
i'm quite denying. i wish i could be constant. i've never wished for anything since i'd been 14. i'm wavering. i'm out of love, with everything. my religion has taken me over. how can i hold on to something that i want to keep forever?
while i can't personally talk to his wife, another professor who happens to teach Phys Ed, i can feel many things for her. we don't speak the same language. i don't know her very well, though i've played ping pong with her.
i recognize her. in my first few memories of her, i remember a purple track suit, that she wears well, walking down the path to or from her home to the school buildings.
Mary and i pass her once as she came back from seeing her daughter off on the city bus. she tells us that she is doing so in Chinese. Mary gets this because she is a Mandarin genius.
i feel for her. being human, for the sake of, and nothing else.
i feel that it is selfish, but i just don't know. selfish of her late husband. despite! any qualms, any quarrels that lasted for as long as it did.
Mary says and calls her "the widow," now. i've never heard this word used in it's true definition before. i don't know any widows myself, and death to me is not something true now.
i had been thinking, and i know a lot of my friends see this in me, that, i'm really good in denying. i don't know if that is inherent of everyone, or is it just me.
i'm thinking this because, i've grown to believe whatever we put aside, shall sit and wallow as it should. brush what we don't believe on the side and not see the truth for the truth.
i'm quite denying. i wish i could be constant. i've never wished for anything since i'd been 14. i'm wavering. i'm out of love, with everything. my religion has taken me over. how can i hold on to something that i want to keep forever?
20060505
up the mountain, down the mountain
i was partially right about what i said about China and religion. but! mostly wrong. Chinese people at some point were not allowed to practice religion as the government felt that it was just superstitious. up until 1978, many temples and other religious linked monuments were destroyed. after some Open policy, realizing that there is a need and whatever, people were permitted to practice it openly. in toronto, i know in chinatown, there are some falun gong protesters. i believed that they were a religion, and saw that people were punished for practicing it in china. actually, this religion is a new one, compared to millenium-old buddhism, confusinism (?), and taoism. many of my chinese friends who are about our age do not practice any religion. my coordinator here who about 33 doesn't either. mostly the older people do.
yesterday (thursday beijing before noon/wednesday while you were sleeping) i climbed at least 500 steps up and around, half way down some mountains (we took a van from the middle down). it was long, but we were really pumped, leaving my legs quivering on the way down. no bad jokes please. check out my pictures in the photo album.
yesterday (thursday beijing before noon/wednesday while you were sleeping) i climbed at least 500 steps up and around, half way down some mountains (we took a van from the middle down). it was long, but we were really pumped, leaving my legs quivering on the way down. no bad jokes please. check out my pictures in the photo album.
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