heels

as i was walking to school the other day, in my lovely black heels and stockings under jeans, i thought this might be a good topic to right about. i don't know about other cities or what not, but in this city, ladies.. uh.. women (more on this later) like to wear heels and dresses. at home, where i'm extremely comfortable in jeans, capris, sometimes skirts, i'd never wear dresses, nor have i yet bought any here. i will near the end of my stay. i actually think they are quite endearing. i mean, most of the dresses i would not wear at home. they're kinda really girly and i'm a bolder girl. i think. but yes, dresses and heels. no matter the function. teaching, the female teachers are all in heels, and mostly dresses, or at least skirts. some in soft pastelly colours, some the generic pink, red, blue-green, green that come for all dresses and fashionable wear. i love the shoes they have here. which reminds me.

their fricken market is huge. china is the place of product. everything is majorly cheap compared to canada, of course. but they have tonnes here. if you have been to warehouse, think of a warehouse times like, 8 or even 10, with many floors, of course. i remember the first day i was in my first chinese supermarket. i was in beijing with hongmei. the thing with the supermarkets is that everything tantalizes you. there is just so much. you get flabberghasted by the amount of merchandise, you totally get visually lost and really forget why you are there in the first place. apparently this happens when you are in a market that is not in your own country. just, everything is completely different. like every box, every package in the shop is different than your no frills, your loblaws.. hahaha.. or other..

so yes, the heels i wore. they're quite low, and i really like them. i wore stockings with them that day. they made me blister. i only walked to school, then took the bus home after being stood up by a friend (*cry). i could have walked to the market if i felt more better in my shoes. nonetheless, i really like heels now. i mean, i like them better. and dresses. i'm going to buy some before i return. i do want to be a girl, though a comfortable girl..

oh yeah.. "women." women here don't like to be called a "woman" here. it means that they are old, married, and something else i'm sure. i find that fact so strange. they all want to be called "girls" or "ladies." well, then.. okay.

Sanitation

i think i have food poisoning. it's not uncommon here for a foreigner. i bravely ate out, even though my stomache was in pain, from god knows what. lately, i've been feeling low. perhaps it's the weather here? well, actually, also because of some of the people here. i realize that the foreigners to the town all have different motives for being here. i found out something that morally effects the way i think about that person. it's only a little. it's only confirmed even more how i prefer distance away from this person. then, it makes me think about other negative people. i let these people effect my mood here. it's kinda sad. plus the weather. now, it's only the students that i relate to most here, as they are finishing the term, looking for work for the next term. when you're far from home, you're far..

my friend is right, i'm the foreigner, but i must trust everyone here. keep at distance here, but recognize that there are truly genuine people here. i'm realizing more of the negative recently, but have been trying to surround myself with the good, which keeps me from.. argh!

so, i got off topic. sanitation. yes, my diarrhea shots wore off exactly three months that i was here. i paid those two days.. and now i'm constantly paying more. my tummy is in pain. i have to eat less out. i think my mood has effected my interest in cooking or something. i know i must go to the supermarket tomorrow.

having a full blown tummy ache, i get to the department office. of course, this is china and people smoke everywhere. i'm extremely sensitive to cigarette smoke, coming from toronto, where smoking is banned almost everywhere. it immediately makes me feel worse, i could feel it in my blood. where people spit in the street, cab drivers hork it out out of the window, where tots pee and defecate on the streets, .. it's a huge reason, i'm not staying here more than i have to.

i had trouble on bus number 4. as soon as i got on, the driver asks me where i'm going.. something something "nar." i had prepared myself for something like this, but know that my accent is shit. "she yweh," i say. he says "what," and i go sit. he asks me three more lines. i can't say anything, but i'm not too burdened. i get up to leave and he says something something "meo," which means nothing. so, that experience led me to sleep in my office at school for the rest of the lunch period next day. the day after, i was ready for the bus again with a note hongmei wrote for me. i love hongmei.

with a tummy ache and hoa tcha, i'll sit and relax my tummy now. going to beijing with mona during the holiday. i wish i could be more excited. only 3 more days left. to freedom.