bus number 4

well, today is day 10 of our 10-day school cycle. i'm happy. it's only our first cycle, but i'm.. still dreading the rest of the summer. i guess it's alright for the teachers here, but for the students. where they have to wake up at 5:30 then go to class, with lunch and dinner breaks, until 9:30 at night is really, really stupid.he students had an opportunity to vote if they wanted two 5-day cycles or the full 10-cycle. so far, my two classes since yesterday said, the first. for me, i prefer the 2nd.. but i sympathize with them, so, really, whatever is better for them.

i took the bus today from west campus to xin tai hang supermarket. of course, for me, that is totally impossible for me to do if i was at main campus. there are two number 4 buses that run from main campus, one takes longer to go downtown than the other. but yeah.. i thought it would be easier than to walk to the market near main campus. i'd be carrying a big bag of rice so whichever is nearer to a bus stop is good.

i'm on the bus. i sit in the back, where there is the only seat left waiting for me. i think, "yes, homefree." i sit and recall the route as mary and i have already sat through this. i realize that there is a tv at the front of the bus, with a station on. i think, wow.. so impractical. people could be late watching it. there are people living in shacks in the city and there are flat tv screens on the public bus.my next worry is getting off at the next stop. initially, i was planning to go to feng zhan supermarket, not xin tai hang. i am more familiar with the stops near xin tai hang, so i change my mind and get off earlier.

a little disoriented, i get off the bus. i look around, and recall some of the stores. oh k. now a street. i stand at the side of the street trying to figure out how to cross it. jincheng streets are friggin' deadly. ok, i'm from canada, and that means rules and rules. the streets here seems disorganized to me. it takes me awhile. i stand, then ready to make my move, retreat, get ready.. then cower. i walk closer across the supermarket and see my chance. whenever you see a way, an opportunity, just do it. and cross the street. damn, it's a piece of accomplishment.

things in the market seem familiar. check my bag, get my ticket, find my goods. of course, i look chinese, so at least one person asked me if i needed help with something. i shake my head and slowly, casually walk away. i get almost everything i wanted. i realize the veggies at xin tai hang are not so good, so i will have to go elsewhere next time. i see my strawberry nectar for 4 yuan less than the market near my house, which is awesome. i have to get some next time.

i wanted to get some dried vermicelli, and decided to get it later. i gotta focus on the task at hand, dammit. got almost everything on my list, except for.. .. well, 2 out of 5 things. missed out on veggies and eggs. got some jello, potatoes, etc.what more do have to ramble on about?so my bus trip downtown is good. i just can do it from my campus. oh yeah.. i can't 'cause i can't read which number 4 bus i need to go on. on tai huan road, one number 4 turns right and the other turns left. i have to think about this when i'm moving about. i'm not yet brave to take the taxi by myself without a note. so far, i think i can ask for some places.. but of course.. a little shy. blah.. so, i'm shy.

no way out

these days have been blah. the weather is gray. i mean, literally for about a week now. just over that. my work is alright, i guess. i just have to stress on a class that has "to the floor" level English. the other classes, i don't have to produce too much new stuff.. just reorganize everything i have.

i have time i guess. when i do, i just let myself not do anything about it. i'm at a standstill again, for some reason. i don't know where my motivation is gone to. i think it's the weather. i think it's the grumpy students and the grumpy co-worker that .. gets me really agitated the most. there shouldn't be a summer term anyway. one of the students fainted yesterday. it's hot here. i mean, the students here have to work for 110 hours in a 10-day week in their school schedule. that's not including the 2 hours they have before classes, running their exercises (which they are used to), sweeping the school clean, eating.. reading apparently..

there is not another teacher coming in september, which makes me a little sad. the other foreign teacher likes to do his own thing, and so do i, which is okay. but, it would make me a little more happier if i were to have another companion.. i'll just do as i usually do. i think i've got to regroup my thoughts a little.

i took out all the garbage (minus the bad watermelon.. another story), and cleared the apartment. i'll be cleaning the floor tomorrow. i'm supposed to be running tomorrow. i skipped this morning. richard had called to cancel this morning, so i skipped. i run every other day. i gotta get my mojo going again. gotta do the editing.

this woman got hold of me for a while today. so far, as a foreign teacher, you may get the luxury of going on hospitable lunches with people. today, i think i realized that i really don't like them anymore. of course, mary liked them.. she handles well talking to people. i just never know what to say. is it appropriate to ask about this and that.. and blah blah. they want to hang out with me again next week. i said yes.. but i really don't want to. yes.. so the pattern is that i'm a pushover. she wanted me to come over to her house with the other guests to see her wedding pictures. after sitting there for half an hour, after i've finished eating.. i realized that.. i just didn't want to be there anymore. i'm definitely giving these people's childrens free oral English lessons. i mean, they are feeding me.. but i feel like i haven't said yes to this transaction..

and it's not even that fact that it's free.. i just have no time.. i could be editing.. (paid side work) or i could learn the guitar, start that scarf. like, really.. i wasn't learning anything more for myself. my work load is almost 3 times it was last term, with lesson planning and this new headache class that i have.

i told them, i needed to rest before my afternoon classes and promised her to see her pictures next week. i really don't mind seeing her pictures.. i just don't understand why i have to hang out with this family..

gray days are good, but gray clouds are not

geez.. i'm doing some editing work.. and like.. it's friggin' a lot of work. i mean, i'm correcting 2 out of 3 words. hongmei said she'd ask for more money for me. she's awesome.. i'm just thinking how relieved i will be when i finished correcting everything.. i'm probably 15% through all of it.. well, not even.. :(

i went to some mountain with two americans the other weekend. the day was dreary. actually, it's been gray for a week here already. it's nice that it's not blistering hot. i'm actually very happy about that. but! i really don't know how i will deal when i go to vietnam. i get heat rash.. suceptible to it. now, it's over.. but hahaha.. yeah.. my health skin problems you'd like to know.

the week after mary left was my week off from school, and, i was deathly bored. i kept indoors mostly. went out to hotpot actually a few times.. 4 times in 1.5 weeks.. good stuff. went swimming. the rest of the time.. i think i was going crazy. i had nothing to do.. (minus the editing, which i can't sit to do very long) and obsessed over available internet entertainment. saw some stephen chow movies (in viet) and some weird show online called, "soupmovie.com."

i just did my 2nd day of classes today. the schedule changed after the first time which got me a little agitated. now, i don't have any off my classes from last term, which is okay.. but i wished they had told me sooner. the other foreign teacher (yes mary, guess who it is) had a panic attacked because he was told that he would get all new classes from day 1. i really didn't mind if we had new students or not, but i was prepared to give my returning students new work. i feel like i work with a big gray cloud, at times it is not so gray, but most of the time it is. there should be a chinese word for this. hahaha..

someone asked me about my goals today.. and apparently they didn't like my answer. i really have no idea. and apparently, goals have nothing to do with feelings or subjectivity. uh.. i guess.. it makes me wonder. it makes me a little agitated, but it makes me wonder. i guess, 'cause i really don't talk to anyone about my thoughts on goals and the future. i mean, usually. so i was not prepared or something. i just really haven't thought about it. so now, i'm all confused. i have them somewhere.. maybe just put off to the side for a while. and so.. hahaa.. i will put it off some more. i'm just really content here for now. blah. i guess :P

hmm.. anything interesting i have seen, lately.. .. .. oh yeah. the other day, i went to eat grill muslim food, on the street with Wei Qi. soooooooooooooooo good. i realized i like hanging out with him. just mediocre, not too excitable time. hahaha.. just relaxing. we went to play pool again. when i get home, i'm going to be a pro for sure.