bus number 4

well, today is day 10 of our 10-day school cycle. i'm happy. it's only our first cycle, but i'm.. still dreading the rest of the summer. i guess it's alright for the teachers here, but for the students. where they have to wake up at 5:30 then go to class, with lunch and dinner breaks, until 9:30 at night is really, really stupid.he students had an opportunity to vote if they wanted two 5-day cycles or the full 10-cycle. so far, my two classes since yesterday said, the first. for me, i prefer the 2nd.. but i sympathize with them, so, really, whatever is better for them.

i took the bus today from west campus to xin tai hang supermarket. of course, for me, that is totally impossible for me to do if i was at main campus. there are two number 4 buses that run from main campus, one takes longer to go downtown than the other. but yeah.. i thought it would be easier than to walk to the market near main campus. i'd be carrying a big bag of rice so whichever is nearer to a bus stop is good.

i'm on the bus. i sit in the back, where there is the only seat left waiting for me. i think, "yes, homefree." i sit and recall the route as mary and i have already sat through this. i realize that there is a tv at the front of the bus, with a station on. i think, wow.. so impractical. people could be late watching it. there are people living in shacks in the city and there are flat tv screens on the public bus.my next worry is getting off at the next stop. initially, i was planning to go to feng zhan supermarket, not xin tai hang. i am more familiar with the stops near xin tai hang, so i change my mind and get off earlier.

a little disoriented, i get off the bus. i look around, and recall some of the stores. oh k. now a street. i stand at the side of the street trying to figure out how to cross it. jincheng streets are friggin' deadly. ok, i'm from canada, and that means rules and rules. the streets here seems disorganized to me. it takes me awhile. i stand, then ready to make my move, retreat, get ready.. then cower. i walk closer across the supermarket and see my chance. whenever you see a way, an opportunity, just do it. and cross the street. damn, it's a piece of accomplishment.

things in the market seem familiar. check my bag, get my ticket, find my goods. of course, i look chinese, so at least one person asked me if i needed help with something. i shake my head and slowly, casually walk away. i get almost everything i wanted. i realize the veggies at xin tai hang are not so good, so i will have to go elsewhere next time. i see my strawberry nectar for 4 yuan less than the market near my house, which is awesome. i have to get some next time.

i wanted to get some dried vermicelli, and decided to get it later. i gotta focus on the task at hand, dammit. got almost everything on my list, except for.. .. well, 2 out of 5 things. missed out on veggies and eggs. got some jello, potatoes, etc.what more do have to ramble on about?so my bus trip downtown is good. i just can do it from my campus. oh yeah.. i can't 'cause i can't read which number 4 bus i need to go on. on tai huan road, one number 4 turns right and the other turns left. i have to think about this when i'm moving about. i'm not yet brave to take the taxi by myself without a note. so far, i think i can ask for some places.. but of course.. a little shy. blah.. so, i'm shy.

no way out

these days have been blah. the weather is gray. i mean, literally for about a week now. just over that. my work is alright, i guess. i just have to stress on a class that has "to the floor" level English. the other classes, i don't have to produce too much new stuff.. just reorganize everything i have.

i have time i guess. when i do, i just let myself not do anything about it. i'm at a standstill again, for some reason. i don't know where my motivation is gone to. i think it's the weather. i think it's the grumpy students and the grumpy co-worker that .. gets me really agitated the most. there shouldn't be a summer term anyway. one of the students fainted yesterday. it's hot here. i mean, the students here have to work for 110 hours in a 10-day week in their school schedule. that's not including the 2 hours they have before classes, running their exercises (which they are used to), sweeping the school clean, eating.. reading apparently..

there is not another teacher coming in september, which makes me a little sad. the other foreign teacher likes to do his own thing, and so do i, which is okay. but, it would make me a little more happier if i were to have another companion.. i'll just do as i usually do. i think i've got to regroup my thoughts a little.

i took out all the garbage (minus the bad watermelon.. another story), and cleared the apartment. i'll be cleaning the floor tomorrow. i'm supposed to be running tomorrow. i skipped this morning. richard had called to cancel this morning, so i skipped. i run every other day. i gotta get my mojo going again. gotta do the editing.

this woman got hold of me for a while today. so far, as a foreign teacher, you may get the luxury of going on hospitable lunches with people. today, i think i realized that i really don't like them anymore. of course, mary liked them.. she handles well talking to people. i just never know what to say. is it appropriate to ask about this and that.. and blah blah. they want to hang out with me again next week. i said yes.. but i really don't want to. yes.. so the pattern is that i'm a pushover. she wanted me to come over to her house with the other guests to see her wedding pictures. after sitting there for half an hour, after i've finished eating.. i realized that.. i just didn't want to be there anymore. i'm definitely giving these people's childrens free oral English lessons. i mean, they are feeding me.. but i feel like i haven't said yes to this transaction..

and it's not even that fact that it's free.. i just have no time.. i could be editing.. (paid side work) or i could learn the guitar, start that scarf. like, really.. i wasn't learning anything more for myself. my work load is almost 3 times it was last term, with lesson planning and this new headache class that i have.

i told them, i needed to rest before my afternoon classes and promised her to see her pictures next week. i really don't mind seeing her pictures.. i just don't understand why i have to hang out with this family..

gray days are good, but gray clouds are not

geez.. i'm doing some editing work.. and like.. it's friggin' a lot of work. i mean, i'm correcting 2 out of 3 words. hongmei said she'd ask for more money for me. she's awesome.. i'm just thinking how relieved i will be when i finished correcting everything.. i'm probably 15% through all of it.. well, not even.. :(

i went to some mountain with two americans the other weekend. the day was dreary. actually, it's been gray for a week here already. it's nice that it's not blistering hot. i'm actually very happy about that. but! i really don't know how i will deal when i go to vietnam. i get heat rash.. suceptible to it. now, it's over.. but hahaha.. yeah.. my health skin problems you'd like to know.

the week after mary left was my week off from school, and, i was deathly bored. i kept indoors mostly. went out to hotpot actually a few times.. 4 times in 1.5 weeks.. good stuff. went swimming. the rest of the time.. i think i was going crazy. i had nothing to do.. (minus the editing, which i can't sit to do very long) and obsessed over available internet entertainment. saw some stephen chow movies (in viet) and some weird show online called, "soupmovie.com."

i just did my 2nd day of classes today. the schedule changed after the first time which got me a little agitated. now, i don't have any off my classes from last term, which is okay.. but i wished they had told me sooner. the other foreign teacher (yes mary, guess who it is) had a panic attacked because he was told that he would get all new classes from day 1. i really didn't mind if we had new students or not, but i was prepared to give my returning students new work. i feel like i work with a big gray cloud, at times it is not so gray, but most of the time it is. there should be a chinese word for this. hahaha..

someone asked me about my goals today.. and apparently they didn't like my answer. i really have no idea. and apparently, goals have nothing to do with feelings or subjectivity. uh.. i guess.. it makes me wonder. it makes me a little agitated, but it makes me wonder. i guess, 'cause i really don't talk to anyone about my thoughts on goals and the future. i mean, usually. so i was not prepared or something. i just really haven't thought about it. so now, i'm all confused. i have them somewhere.. maybe just put off to the side for a while. and so.. hahaa.. i will put it off some more. i'm just really content here for now. blah. i guess :P

hmm.. anything interesting i have seen, lately.. .. .. oh yeah. the other day, i went to eat grill muslim food, on the street with Wei Qi. soooooooooooooooo good. i realized i like hanging out with him. just mediocre, not too excitable time. hahaha.. just relaxing. we went to play pool again. when i get home, i'm going to be a pro for sure.

prove it that you're a foreigner, speak English.

something reminded me of this.. something i was told not so long ago.

one thursday afternoon, hongmei called me. she asked me if i wanted to come with her and a friend to see some silk exhibition show in the city. i was tired, but of course, i will say yes, unless i'm 95% tired. i was not at that point. we went with her friend who spoke japanese, but no english. we got to the place, which was near the community pool to find it was closed for the day. well, they somehow got the word in that we were foreigners (not hongmei) for them to let us just look around. in the end, they convinced the evening workers there that i was a foreigner. they told me, "speak English Cathy." i'm like, "what the?! say what?!" hahaha.. well, it 'twas great. well, with my little chinese now, i can tell me people that i'm not chinese and that i'm vietnamese and.. blah blah..

oh yeah.. i love bedouin soundclash now.

shummuh?

today, i went to a "brothel," as Mary says. to me, it was a sketchy karaoke places with female hostesses. i guess to me, a brothel is different.. or something. well, it was Richard's uncle's property where we visited. a lot of ladies walking around wearing less usual chinese-wear. that includes short skirts/shorts, tanks, etc. oh yes, Richard is a friend of Mary's from Beijing. his hometown is this city, so he visits often. he's an editor for a literary magazine and had worked at U of T for one year. also, he's published many books and has degrees in minorities cultures in China. it was a little odd that he brought us to this sketchy area, but whatever i guess. it's family, and it's life for him.

we got a room (of course without hostesses) from one of the room managers. he had some kenny g, but no other English music.. well, except for this horrid rendition of "i will always love you." Richard, Mary, "Little Fatty," and i danced until the last person fell, and that was Richard of course. man, for a young person, i can't not keep up with Richard and Mary. Mary kept wavin' her arms at the air conditioner (it was hot) and Richard kept on doing this semi-robot 80s move. Little Fatty had the best dance music i heard since i got here, that is, most similar to our dance music at home. i was so worn out. oh yes, it was about 6pm to 8pm that we were there. we walked there from bai li yuan park, along the "artificial river." we met his siblings and their families, who all live in that sketchy area.

a lovely thursday afternoon

went on a boat ride in tse cho park, for an hour with wei qi. it was nice and relaxing. not as strenuous as i thought it would be. it was simple and nice. i really, really liked it. especially that we were in an artificial park that was not too artificial. also, i was not too close to the creepy camel.

judging English competitions

it is fun when they are your students. i had a great time at the first day at the competition, saw their full potential. i was really proud.

however.. yes, the however section.
the students who can't understand me, because i don't have a chinese accent.
apparently all the girls are "lovely girls" and all "love singing and dancing." where really, in class when i ask, they shake their head and say "i don't know how to."
it's not "smile" but smell.

blah blah..

someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection for lovers and dreamers like me..

hey.. so, many things have happened in the last few weeks.

today, i met up with some students at the west campus gate. i wore my new sandals, which got me bleeding at the end of the day, along with a tank. i was weary about the "dress code" in this city. how skimpy can i wear it? haha.. well. a wide strap tank was good with jeans rolled up. it was pretty good. their whole dorm came. that's 8 girls. we got onto #3 bus, the first time for me on the route. we went to bai li yuan park. it was the 2nd time i went there, this time i knew the name. but! things were different. the garden was totally made up. the bridge was the same. the concrete mock tree logs were still there. boats were there. but! this time i got to ride it. the students didn't let me paddle. they sang and we chatted and blah blah. it was really good and fun. lots of pictures. they were really sweet.

we went to find some food. we were hungry and walking. i should have brought them to where i knew, but we were led to a place with mediocre food. haha.. well.. blah. we ended up walking to get snacks then to chill out at my apartment. so we did, and they didn't want to leave. i was sorta tired, but of course kept that to myself. they ended up cooking dinner for me. i, was abashed. they told me that the day they had with me was a wonderful and important day that they will never forget. as passive and indifferent as i am usually, i know that it won't be a day i will forget. i'm very happy to be where i am.

apart from that, i think i have a very notable culture shock memo to include. well, hongmei would always remind me not to be sitting wherever, ie. the concrete steps. "it's very dirty," she says. of course back home, this is not even questioned. i sat, whatever. well. okay, back home we walk dogs, right? okay, here in jincheng, we walk children. "can't they walk themselves?" ray questions. what i'm trying to say is that there is a reason we walk dogs. kiddies have the same reason, too. i'll leave it to that. i've just seen enough to mention it. i know i will see this for the rest of the time i am here, which is crazy a bit, -don't you think?!

oh yeah, i went swimming with du mei qing and friends a while ago. i don't feel too nauseous when ladies are totally naked in the change room, though i'm a little shy. i just don't get the scrubbing each other's back totally in the nude. "no thanks mei qing, no thanks."

hmm.. anything else to say? of course, loads. been downloading good stuff. practicing the guitar. getting a bit better. have a big urge to write, and write some more. planning when i'm going to beijing this summer, perhaps shanghai.. thinking of my expenses.

hmm.. i'm jaywalking. i do this because the crosswalk is not safe. *expletive. it's not safe anywhere.

i tried to cook some stuff this week, and it didn't turn out so well. tried to copy/mock what a student made when she was at my house earlier this week. i thought she put more salt, i swear.
i love stabilo.
i still can't read my blog online.
i love prince now, too.
i still love the streets.

till death

about two weeks ago, we (teachers of JIT college) got news that a professor who had been missing for weeks before that, had took his life down a well. he leaves his wife and daughter.

while i can't personally talk to his wife, another professor who happens to teach Phys Ed, i can feel many things for her. we don't speak the same language. i don't know her very well, though i've played ping pong with her.

i recognize her. in my first few memories of her, i remember a purple track suit, that she wears well, walking down the path to or from her home to the school buildings.

Mary and i pass her once as she came back from seeing her daughter off on the city bus. she tells us that she is doing so in Chinese. Mary gets this because she is a Mandarin genius.

i feel for her. being human, for the sake of, and nothing else.

i feel that it is selfish, but i just don't know. selfish of her late husband. despite! any qualms, any quarrels that lasted for as long as it did.

Mary says and calls her "the widow," now. i've never heard this word used in it's true definition before. i don't know any widows myself, and death to me is not something true now.

i had been thinking, and i know a lot of my friends see this in me, that, i'm really good in denying. i don't know if that is inherent of everyone, or is it just me.

i'm thinking this because, i've grown to believe whatever we put aside, shall sit and wallow as it should. brush what we don't believe on the side and not see the truth for the truth.

i'm quite denying. i wish i could be constant. i've never wished for anything since i'd been 14. i'm wavering. i'm out of love, with everything. my religion has taken me over. how can i hold on to something that i want to keep forever?

up the mountain, down the mountain

i was partially right about what i said about China and religion. but! mostly wrong. Chinese people at some point were not allowed to practice religion as the government felt that it was just superstitious. up until 1978, many temples and other religious linked monuments were destroyed. after some Open policy, realizing that there is a need and whatever, people were permitted to practice it openly. in toronto, i know in chinatown, there are some falun gong protesters. i believed that they were a religion, and saw that people were punished for practicing it in china. actually, this religion is a new one, compared to millenium-old buddhism, confusinism (?), and taoism. many of my chinese friends who are about our age do not practice any religion. my coordinator here who about 33 doesn't either. mostly the older people do.

yesterday (thursday beijing before noon/wednesday while you were sleeping) i climbed at least 500 steps up and around, half way down some mountains (we took a van from the middle down). it was long, but we were really pumped, leaving my legs quivering on the way down. no bad jokes please. check out my pictures in the photo album.

i don't want to hear, i don't know want to know.. please don't say you're sorry..

listening to madonna's song, "sorry." pretty good song.

went swimming yesterday. with goggles at 60yuan/9$cdn, perscription, -you can't beat that! i swam a kilometre, which is quite impressive. i owe it to the goggles. i love swimming!! went karaoke and dancing, and blah blah blah.

i have a week off started two days ago/friday. it is now sunday night beijing time. i've had a pretty good weekend despite the exasperation of a fellow teacher. honestly, i was a little peeved. it's really unfortunate, really..

tomorrow, i'm attending an english speech competition with Mary and Du Mei Qing. the day after we are going to see the mu dan (peony) flowers at Lua Yan, a city in henan province. apparently, we'll be late for it's bloom period, but, it should be beautiful nonetheless. lots of historical buildings, etc.

my hair is getting longer. and! because of the season, i'm shedding a lot. i really have to get a haircut soon. i should be getting one on wednesday. julia (a student) is staying over from the 5th, so she should go chill with me around the city. mary's also staying over from the 3rd, 'cause one of her mail friends from beijing is coming to stay in her apartment and she thought it would be better if she was not there, too.

what else do i have to say? well, i've done my 7th weekend here. that is 20% of my stay. again, it is an understatement to say that i am experiencing new things. i'm extremely in the right place, at the right time. i know this is where i would like to be at the moment. i'm learning new things, having time to find new hobbies, ie. cooking, more guitar.. hopefully more writing..

i'm definitely am learning mandarin on the way. i don't know what else to say.

My experience in China so far

i was writing to a friend who soon will be coming to china. here's the good stuff..

money: i brought only 1000yuan/150$cdn here, i could have used a bit more. you can probably bring 2000yuan/300$cdn and that would be more than fine. this is good for a month. when converting, i always think 100yuan=15$cdn or 20yuan = 3$cdn.
monthly local salary: local teachers make about 1000yuan a month, depending on their degree. make sure, as outlined in the contract, you just don't talk about what you make. "i can't talk about it," is what i say. i've been asked by a student and a local teacher.
toiletries: things like toothpaste, shampoo, and soap is much cheaper here than at home, so you should only have to bring one of everything to start off with.
food: food here is very, very cheap. for groceries, you need at least 400yuan/60$cdn a month, you can bring more than that if you want. the other day, i got a good meal/2 snacks for 2yuan/30cents at an outdoor market. new foods are always exciting. veggies are very cheap. you can get a good meal for two for about 20 yuan/3$cdn. junk food costs more (as oppose to in Canada), but who need junk anyway. you'll eat healthy here. people generally buy groceries for the meal the day of. i went to eat at a local teacher's house and she made noodles right before my eyes. that is, noodles from scratch.. mixed it, pounded it, then cut it. oh yes. and no tipping at restaurants. the ordering process is interesting. you shall see.
people love their veggies here. not so big on meat as we are in north america. you will try new things.
snacks: gum and candy is real cheap in china. the only snack item i would say you would miss is chocolate. the chocolate tastes very different. luckily, my mom made be bring some chocolate bars. they are still in my coffee table for a rainy day. lots of cookies and other snacks. you can spend all day in the supermarket or shopping centre. there is an abundant number of everything (except English books).
milk: milk in china is very different. it is very sweet here. they do not have yoghurt, but they have what we call "yop" in canada. a watery yogurt which is fantastic.
dictionary: bring a dictionary and perhaps a phrase book. i bought one from toronto, but it was missing some words that i was interested in finding. you can find lots of english-chinese dictionaries here, probably for much cheaper anyway.
chinese phrasebook: a friend gave me this. it was quite useful. "chinese phrases for dummies." it does not have any chinese characters in it. it is written using our english sounds, so it is easier for english speakers to use. it is also good, because it helps you learn the basics in the chinese language. i'm slowly learning and learning quite well. it is very good to learn numbers, and greetings.. and! "boo dong" = i don't understand.
bookstores: english books in bookstores are expensive. the english section is also limited, especially in my city (my city is similar size to ottawa).
bargain: when you go anywhere in china, it is best to go with a local speaker. they will help you bargain. you can bargain practically anywhere, but you can't bargain in some "supermarkets." supermarkets are like walmarts, they sell everything. if you do not bargain, you will spend perhaps 3 to 4 times too much.
tissue/napkins/kleenex: sometimes, public washrooms do not have toilet paper. it is good to carry a personal size tissue packets. warning: public washrooms can be very smelly.
location cards for getting around in the city/town: by taxi. you can carry cards with locations you'd like to go to in the city. you can ask your work supervisor about writing locations for you. i know one person who uses these cards. all he needs is a card for school, and one for bank. it is good to write down your contact numbers just in case you get lost, too. oh yes, in my city, the taxi fare is 4yuan/60 cents. if we go more than 2 kilometres, it will rise, by .10yuan. uh.. that is almost 2 cents. taxi is cheap.
the city bus: me and another foreign english teacher took a bus ride around the city just to explore, 1yuan/15 cents. that was really fun.
electrical outlets: the outlets here are different. although they are different, if you bring something that is made in china, it usually should fit. my camera plug works, but my haircurler plug doesn't.
keeping your money: i think the best way is keep your money in your front pockets. my fellow foreign teacher, she has a fanny pack (something around your waist) under her baggy shirt. people do carry purses, but i think it's really hazardous. a fellow local teacher had it snatched before. i also have a large over the shoulder bag that i wear across my body.
luggage: i can tell you now, that you will buy many things to bring home. i will at the end of my trip. do not pack full/overload two big suitcases. you will buy things to bring home.
mail: my fellow teacher said that mail that she had sent did not get home. i sent mail home a while ago, but, i'm not sure if it got there. i'll have to ask. to go to the post office, ask a local person to go with you. there is special envelopes for international mail. it costs maybe a few dimes cheaper than international postage in Canada.
bank: i'm not sure about the bank, i will be going next week for the first time. i get paid in cash, so i won't open a bank account. however, i need to pay off a credit card bill (airfare) so i have to figure that out.
canadian embassy: make sure you contact the embassy. they should know you're in china. another foreign teacher didn't want to be known his location, so he did not register. to me, i think it's important that canada knows i'm here. http://www.beijing.gc.ca/beijing/en/navmain/consular/registration/index.htm
local teachers and college students: all of the teachers are very nice. some had invited me out shopping, eating at their house, parks.. especially if you are female i think, they will respond very well to you. they are very interested in talking to you. most speak english very well, few have lots of trouble. if your students are old enough, you can encourage them to invite you out. college students are very receptive. and especially if you're female. they take you everywhere, helping you do your own errands, even grocery shopping. one thing, if someone invites you out in china, that person pays. you can insist, of course.. at least try to. oh yes, students will ask you personal questions. it is normal in the culture. if you do not want to answer, just say it's personal. encourage them to ask questions, but of course, tell them that you will tell them if it is personal.
when you are walking with them, female students/teachers may hold your hand. it's sweet, but that's what they do.
utilities: i don't know if it will happen in your city/campus, but my electricity and water has gone out for a few hours a few times. it's really not a big deal. people are very careful about their electricity usage. when they are finished with an appliance, they usually turn it off.. except the fridge, of course.
buildings: i live in school residence. when the heaters are off and the electric heater is on, it may still be cold. the building is made of concrete and doesn't keep heat well.
trips: for my first trip outside of my city, we went to an ancient city called Xi'an. it was incredible. you can check out/see the pictures that i had sent you a while ago. it was quite cheap/inexpensive. cost me 1300yuan/200$cdn for 4 days, hotel and lots and lots of sight seeing. it was very beautiful, despite the air pollution. all 5 of us had a driver for two of the days, it cost us 500yuan/75$cdn total. also, a tour guide offered her services one of those days for 60yuan/9$cdn. it was amazing. we splurged well i think. it is not a lot, at all. right now, i'm saving for beijing in august.
swifter pads/tissue: i think this is important. they probably have it in the supermarket here, and cheaper, too. i brought my own knowing that a new apartment would be dusty. it is constantly dusty here.
chalk from the board: i got sick twice in three weeks until i realized i was inhaling a lot of the chalk in class. in canada, we have dustless chalk. in china, it's everywhere. your hands will be all chalky, and the dryness in your mouth will be the chalk, too. just be careful with the chalk dust. cover your nose and mouth when you are erasing. there are student monitors who are in charge of erasing the board, you can simply ask them.
public security board: within 30 days of your arrival, your school should help you register with the local police of your residence. this must be done if you want to travel out of your city. they mark your passport with something to indicate it.
webcam/internet access: electronics are not necessarily cheap here. it's sort of hard to ask about items when we don't know the language well. luckily, i brought a webcam with me. i should have gotten a microphone, too. i borrowed one from another foreign teacher. it helps a lot, being able to talk to friends and family. phone cards from toronto to beijing is cheap, but chatting on the net is cheaper. i have access at home, so i don't have to go to internet cafe or go to the school.
new hobby: expect to learn a new hobby. hahahaha, this is my interest now. i have a lot of time off. the first time i was away from home and got really bored, i learnt to crochet/knit. now i'm focusing on playing the guitar (i'm buying one from here for 230yuan/34.50$cdn, made in canada!) and cooking. i have a lot of time off! even though, i still go out about 4 times a week with other teachers or students.
nightlife: my city has some nightlife, that i have not discovered much of yet. there are however afternoon and few evening dance clubs. no alcohol. mainly as a physical activity. in my city, there are a lot of hotels and bathhouses. i don't know why. i've been to karaoke at a brazilian bbq resto, which is a slight change from chinese food, of course.

feng huan lieng park

so. yesterday, nothing much happened. i was supposed to meet my students, optional, to go to the park. no one came, so was free for the morning, which was great. i got to stay home for the cable guy, english channels! i will not see any until it's complete monday.

du mei qing, mary, and yang yong fang discuss good places for day trips for the may holiday. i say, sure whatever. for me, as long as there is little cost.

today, i woke up early, as usual, and went to meet lory, mary, and lory's students at the front gate. of course everyone was there including the hyperactive, expressive student who was just evidently having a hard time trying to contain himself. through the whole trip to the park, he was trying to tell me things, and of course you saw the physical outbursts of really remembering that i really don't understand. so, we made friends. i will teach him english, and he will teach me chinese.. and the guitar! damn, boys who sing in mandarin. hahaha.. it's lovely. reminds me of charles, my cousin, -minus the urges to eat vinegar packages mixed with whatever else.

lory brought a friend, who brought another. all teachers. they brought peter, a lovely boy that mary had met in the past. he was soooooooooooooooooooOo darling. he was very receptive to me, and understood English pretty well. of course, lory's students being from the art department don't understand anything i say.. well, very little. nothing but polite terms. mary and i wanted to visit the park more, but it was nearing lunchtime. we will do so another time.

we went to eat, very well! at a nice restaurant downtown. very, very good food. mary and i were stuff. i thought it was really unfortunate that we couldn't communicate with the family more. our translator, a local english teacher in the arts department unfortunately had poor english.

we went home to get ready for swimming with du mei qing and yang yong fang. i run around the house, putting my bathing suit on, sweeping (seems like i have to do that a lot in my apartment, i shed a lot, too), and getting things somewhat organized.

we go to the pool. it was a really, really nice pool. some students came up to mary and asked her where she was from. of course they can't tell that i am a foreigner. the pool, a little cold at first of course. i got to talk to some girls, and later some boys, while i get acclimated to the water. they were very keen, and some, were better than my own students at the college. the girls were 14 and 15, while the boys were 11 and 12.

i swam. and swam. i really suck, i thought. i stopped a bit. du mei qing lends me her goggles. it worked wonders. i feel way more confident with them. i will get them next time i go. they cost 60yuan/9cdn$. perscription is the word that must be highlighted. perrrrrscrrription goggles.

i went to du mei qing's place. mary went home for plans and yang yong fang had to wait for a friend. on the way, we stopped by a market and some snack stands. i cannot tell you enough, the snack food in this city, is sooooooooooooooooooooOOoo good.

i walked home her house in the dark, which was a bit scary. i could've taken a taxi, but i felt i could brave it. i walked briskly, quickly, passed the night workers who do talk to me. i just walk, i'm happy i don't understand. i come home take a shower (chlorine), and relax a bit.

i wanted to take an early sleep, but saw my cousin online and a friend. uploaded pictures and videos, please see them! good night!

p.s. one more thing at the park. to get to the park, we did not take the bus, as i had thought. we walked, -but what is so special? we walked on the highway. this freaked me out a bit, and mary terribly. but it was really good! hahaha.. oh yeah.. and when vehicles honk now, i don't move. i'm desensitized now mom. i will be trouble when i'm back home.

feng ming district

so, delightfully, ms yong yang fang invites me and mary to her house yesterday for today lunch. as usual, it is absolute great. i learnt a new recipe. after stuffing myself with two bowls of, get this, homemade wheat noodles, i get a little sleepy. i watched her twist and turn, slam the noodles, then put them in the pot to cook. mary, du mei qing, and ms yong talk about whatever when i am trying to get my composure, nodding off. pao la. too full.

we go off to play badminton for the second time this week (i have a renewed love for badminton now). i may get a racket here, maybe. we meet the cutest little girl. she is the daughter of a friend of ms. yong's. i hold hands with her while we all go for a walk.

we walk to find a bathing suit for mary. we hope to go swimming, all of us together on sunday. we walk into a textile store and find something that mary bought more expensive at bai feng supermarket. we refused the bargain price they set, (originally 160 yuan/24$cdn, now 95 yuan/14.25$), plan to search for it somewhere else, and find ourselves in a hidden part of our neighbourhood.

first, we visited ms yong's sister's salon, where i find out a haircut is only 5 yuan/75cents cdn. i probably will return. we walk down a street to find a busy quarter of snackers and local food. mary and i are fascinated. we find our xi'an delight, and this thing we'd call chinese stuffed pizza. it was all too good. we will go back to take pictures for sure. and eat yummy food.

rio brazilian bbq in jincheng

so. when i got on the bus today, i did not expect we would be doing what we did tonight. i got on the bus and mary tells me about something our fellow local english teacher had set up for us. we would be eating at a restaurant, being interviewed as foreigners, for publicity.

i can say, it was great. of course, it was free. it was something i was hoping to see, a little of in jincheng. a nightlife. i'm very excited!! but! i know that the prices there are not fitting for my local friends, even if i want to go all the time.

the place is a nice place, i thought at first. i got a box of matches, which is a first in china, to have matches in a restaurant. i glee with delight while mary tries to figure out my excitement. we wait for a long time, and we are totally confused as to what was to happen. they were setting things up, their camerawork and all. after about an hour, we are all starting to get uncomfortable just sitting around. we had moved to the upstairs of the restaurant and i become more.. excited. it was quite lounge-y (plus some urine scent, not pungent, very light), very colourful, very nice in structure. i saw the menu, very reasonable and got even more excited with pasta and pizza dishes. most of us opt for the buffet, minus birnie who can't eat red meat. i hadn't had so much meat since i came here. i felt a little gross after, well now. i guess i got really used to the veggies, and bits of meat that a bbq was just too much.

they shot us dancing, they interviewed us, they shot us dancing outside the restaurant, they shot us posing in front of the restaurant. it's hilarious. i regretted not bringing my camera. i plainly forgot, had thought about it earlier, but just forgot. they said they would give us copies of the commercial/tv ad. when it is ready. giddiness.

i think the thing that enticed me, mary and yang qing the most was that there was karaoke! we will definitely do it the next time we go! actually, they asked about birnie's birthday being next week. so! i think we are going next week again. ooo.. drinking and karaoke, my kind of mix.

oh yeah, i got to dance with these girls/my age. they were the hostesses/interviewers of the commercial. they were cool, but of course we did not speak the same language. i was tempted to pass on my phone number, but what good would that do. maybe i will see them again. maybe, i will not.

transport

so, today morning, i got up groggy. i got ready for school. changed my routine a bit, and took a shower the night before instead of in the morning, ie, groggy. i got dressed really nice, and went out for the school bus to take me to the other campus. i took a little longer after realizing that i could take a bit more time before i go to the bus stop, as the other teachers do.

so i walk to the main admin building and see no bus. i look over and see birnie there waiting, of course with his laptop and whateverness in a bag. i had thought i might have been late, but i confirmed on my watch that i wasn't at all. we wait. i can't really tell which teacher would be on the bus with us. we don't really talk to the local teachers, except for the ones who speak english.

a teacher comes by. she said, she'd ask someone. she hints that we may be riding on the blue truck/open hood, then runs to ask. she turns to me, and waves her hand, "here!" i tell birnie this and his first reaction was, "you wanna take a taxi?" it was hilarious.

we walked over and they showed us the school car that we were going to be on, not the truck. i really wanted the truck, but what the hey. mary got to ride on the blue truck, lucky for her!

my gosh, i think i'm developing feelings

i feel funny. am i starting to miss home now? i am not at the moment. i'm just reflecting, i think, now. i have all of this time. i need to write. fingers itch and mind gets moggy. i need to do something more active.

i imagine running. my excuse is the dust here. i should get masks. i should do a lot of things. apparently a gent from Cameroon who's working in the city asked me out for coffee yesterday night for tomorrow lunch. i said yes and delayed in recalling that one of my students was going to forward my contact info to some South African friend of hers. when she said it at first, i thought it was going to be a pen pal thing. apparently, i have heard of this guy from Cameroon. he's interested in a Chinese bride. i'm a little freaked by that. in many ways. i think it's ridiculous. i'll see how it goes. but of course! my mandate includes nothing of hooking up with anyone, nor do i want to. for a long time, i've felt that i've had enough.

and so i'm here reflecting. and you get to hear it.

what happen to that young cathy. in terms of relationships. why am i this way now? haha, more importantly, why don't i have feelings? i know it's ridiculous to hear, but in some twisted way, this is how i feel. hahaha.. will.. i meant good romantic feelings. i'm not swayed very well, and i think sapness is pure sapness. i must be picky.

i think i've had enough stupid relationships. relationships that i put myself horridly in. when recalling my favourite relationship at the moment, my only good one, i was so pure then. and this no feelings thing, is connected to some jaded feeling/air that i have. to me, the world is pretty black and white, i guess. why do things when they hurt you? nothing is important as you.

i try not to put myself in a situation like that.

when i went to xi'an, and went to the temple. i teared and controlled myself not to cry. i feel that i'm selfish all the time. i try so hard to step back and realize that it's not me, or any part of me. all that is negative is all we make of it. this is such an understatement. there are so many people who don't recognize this. i, just after a while, took so much in, and in the end, just let go. it was so easy to let go. and i want to be able to do this with everything.

[it is] some sort of bliss. i remember feeling it in high school in montreal. some state of nirvana. i was above. i had things in my life, but i thought what the hey. i was released from my childhood, from what i thought was horrible, and saw things differently.

and i stand in front of that temple, where it's been for a long time. where the day before i stood where people 1300 years ago stood, believing in something, praying for something, for someone. how can i step into something that is not myself anymore? why does it pain me, and why do i let it pain me? what am i looking for?

what does it mean to love someone? am i unit, or part of a unit? what is trust? and can we, be individual, independent and love?

4 day stint in xi'an

so! finding out that we have a break from working at the school, mary comes up with a plan to "skip town." she originally wanted to go to beijing, but we decided that it was to late to buy tickets. we only found out about the break two days before. train tickets require reservations. (note: i had quoted the wrong price for first class train tickets to my city. it was 30$cdn, and 200 yuan, not 200$cdn. 200 yuan is still pricey, considering that most only make a few times more than that a month.)

alright, so wednesday starts. that is the day the school track meet begins. it continued until friday. mary had earlier in the day went to see the opening ceremonies. she stops by. i was still freshening up. i got lazy and decided to go see the meet later in the day. up until that point, we all decided that all plans were a no go.

bernie knocks on my door. (mary and bernie are the other two foreign teachers who live in the same building.) he says, "we're going get ready." i said "okay," shutting the door realizing i don't know how long i have and where we were going. i pack in the half an hour. we're going to xi'an, wherever that was.

we took the long bus ride to xi-an. 8 hours of me weary and developing a horrid cough. we get to this musty xi'an city. the bus station all busy, with taxis and other various vehicles asking if we need service. we rejected the 2 seater with lots of bag space, stuffing ourselves in a taxi. all five of us, plus the taxi driver. we settle at the hotel, go eat at an awesome restaurant nearby, then go to bed. we are to wake up for 7:30 the next day.

mama hongmei slept in the same room as me for the first night. she took care of me 'cause i was coughing. she was really good. she is really good.

1st day in xi'an

we get a driver for two days, 500 yuan. he gets gas for 150, at least. that leaves himself 52.75$cdn. we go to the palace Huaqing Hot Springs (http://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/shaanxi/xian/huaqing.htm). very beautiful. made by an emperor for his love for one of his concubines. i thought it was beautiful. i was truly struck. the palace is made of mostly baths. she loved baths.

we then went to Qin Yinzheng's tomb(http://www.travelchinaguide.com/intro/history/qin/index.htm. it was under a large mountain of trees. it did not have trees or plants on it before, but after thousands of years, they came up. we walk into a performance. a sort of respectful offering of fruit and goods before the mountain for him. he was known for a lot of new chinese innovations: coins, tools,.. first Emperor of the Qin Dynasty who also was the first to be in control of a large China of the past, including Korea, Afghanistan, and parts of Japan. and hence,..

the Terra Cotta soldiers. http://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/shaanxi/xian/terra_cotta_army/index.htm. so Qin Yinzheng's reign was very successful and he wanted everyone to know it. it was common for emperors to bury their things with them. these soldiers were found by a farmer digging a well. he did not get much in return for telling the chinese government at first. after recognition from the british queen, he was compensated well and made custodian of this ground of terra cotta pits. these soldiers are not too far from the emperor himself. they were made to perhaps show how great his warriors were. exaggerated by height and weight, they were found with full colour. after 2 hours however, they were oxygenated and the colour disappeared. some of the pit is still uncovered so as to not to oxygenate them.

for breakfast, we had food in an alleyway shop. noodles of some kind. they didn't want me to have any egg in it 'cause i was sick. oh. the tour guide that we hired for the Springs, we hired for the whole day for 60 yuan. 9$cdn. we went to eat lunch at this place that was trying to rip us off. can you imagine 130 yuan for 5? actually, we had been eating an average 65 per person. of course, because we were westerners. imagine, 2o$cdn for 5?! we returned to the first restaurant that we ate at for dinner, for our 2nd dinner.

i slept in the same room as mary. hongmei bunked with yang qing. we opted for one less room.

day two

went to The Tomb of Princess Yongtai then of Empress Wu Zetian. very cool indeed. Princess Yongtai had a mysterious death. apparently married at 16 and claimed because of childbirth, she died at 17. her mother Empress Wu Zetian was a ruthless woman and is said that she may have killed her daughter as well as her son. Princess Yongtai's husband also died the same year. whatever is printed on her tombstone, perhaps is just a ploy to show differently. her tomb was pretty cool. i mean, it was cold! the only tomb that was saw that was opened, already had things stolen from it by grave robbers.

Empress Wu Zetian was buried with her husband. apparently she was a concubine to his father first, and eventually his wife. her husbands weren't very strong, weak actually, so she took care of most of the work. she studied and learned the ways of being an "emperor." she had her own lovers and was the mostly and only empress worth knowing of all dynasties. very good at her job also. her tomb was unopened. later emperors tried to open her tomb, but was discouraged by lightening and thunder each time. very neat.

we went to eat at a resto in that area and was taken advantage of. the meal from the night before only cost us 68 yuan, but this new place wanted to charge us 130 yuan. taking advantage of foreigners. hongmei yelled at them of course. a difference of 5$cdn, but what the hey, they were ripping us off.

we then went to a temple. and museum type one and one with a relic of a so called buddha. very cool! mary and i brought fruit. lots of people. we passed by some ladies between the temple and the other temple. actually, they mugged us. i mean, they just wanted to sell their incense, but they were forcing them into our arms and hands. it was really pathetic. they were incredibly persistent. hongmei got bogged down by this guy, and i tried to shake him off. so far, people who live in suburb/rural xi'an are living only on foreigner aid. apparently.

we got driven to downtown xi'an and saw a bit. mary, hongmei, and yang qing all bought hats. we went home.

day three

this was supposed to be our shopping day. or we thought. we went downtown, meeting gerry's (a contact's) wife at the hotel. we went to the bell tower and the drum tower. man, standing on the bell tower looking around the city, is amazing! the bell tower was amazing. inside. the doors, the walls, the art. and to think everything existed as is, some retouching, 1300 years ago. xi'an is beautiful and open (except! for the pollution.)

after the towers, we went to this open market that we saw. food and knick knicks. i got postcards and combs. that market was the Muslim quarter. we had our lunch there, which was pretty, pretty good.

we continued to the place we were in the night before, but another amazing site! just like in the chinese movies, i kept on saying. ol' time movies, shops, and ladies on the balconies,.. but not really ladies. lots of shops, stalls in the middle. i got stuff. hush..

it was overall a great trip. it was truly eye-opening. i'm rarely surprised, and this trip was an eyeopener.

my welcome bunch

my first week was terrific. of course, i had my students for the first time. in 5 days, i was invited out for 3 activities. it was really good. the first activity as to Tse Cho park, the one across from school. very, very nice. we just simply walked. it was beautiful. had a bridge, lots of water, a pond, an area to fly kites. lots of people fishing! on a thursday afternoon. also, flying kites! usually, you don't see adults flying kites in canada, but in jincheng! they fly kites simply because they love it. the students treat me to candy hawthorn. i wasn't sure what it was, but ate it anyway. i recall haw flakes at home, and recognize and now know the real fruit. it's just so good. i should get some at the supermarket. i regretted not bringing my camera. after that activity, i walked to jinnian supermarket, bought some things, and went home. that was the first time i went to the market alone. the streets, i realize, are very freaky! at that point, i was somewhat terrified of crossing the street. it was done, however.

the other activities, included me going to xin tai huan supermarket downtown, which was real cool. it was the first time i went downtown. i bought paper for letters, lovely paper, and two cds. one apparently a nicolas tse (canadian, one student tells me) and! a david tao zhe cd. i'm going to bring home a david tao collection, i think :P.

the first week ended with me having dinner at my house. my first year students cook for me. that's right, they cook for me. it was soooooooooOoo unbelievably good. i've got to tell you, food in Jincheng, China is soooooooooooooooOoo good. i haven't gotten sick of it at all. man, i've gotta learn to make food. [i will] die by my own cooking.

truly beautiful

it was my second day of classes. i had 4 classes. they all went pretty well, and i've to continue to brainstorm what i'll be doing for the next couple of weeks. i got less and less nervous as time goes by.. as classes goes by. i'm basically doing the same lesson this week for all 8 of my classes. i have no idea what everyone's level is, but i'm slowly accommodating.

in between my two classes today, i had 2 group of girls making dates with me. i've never been invited to something like this, but i didn't hesitate to their invitation. i went home (i didn't have a third period class,) ate, put on my jeans and running shoes, got some cough medication from hongmei, and took the mini school bus back to their campus.

when i got into the bus, the fellow teacher says, hi. i get slightly flustered. i've been meeting a lot of people lately. the local English teachers, especially, are very warm. she was one of them. she knew me, but i just met her. i've been having teachers come sit in my classes, which makes me a bit nervous,.. but whatever. i find out that yes, they are indeed happy that i am here.

i get to the west campus gates and surely, my students from first year are there. they are funny. we walk down the street to the park. i've seen sorts of gazebos, beautiful ones. i didn't know they were in this particular park. everything is beautiful. the girls explain that town folk like going to this park after work and school. and it's true. people all over, walking, chatting, sitting, fishing, relaxing, folk flying kites (grown ups/adults), work out on the grown up friendly jungle gyms. i have to take pictures. i love this park. it's nothing i've seen before. i loved this experience. i will have to go back a couple of times.

tomorrow is friday, and i have another date with some girls on my own campus. they'll be visiting my place. these kids keep me busy. my last class for the week. some time off on the weekend. yay-ness!

oh yes. after dropping the girls off at the western campus, i found my way walking down to the "supermarket," bought some stuff, asked for tea and other stuff, and walked home. it's a long way, but i know i need the exercise. i've not been doing anything much physical. my legs are sore now.

oh yes. today i took videos of the crazy bathroom that i have here. i'm uploading them as we speak. it's crazy stuff. check out my links!

have a very good day!!

haha, oh yes. i can't read my own site, because i'm censored. i can't only edit what i've wrote, but i can't see my own site. what lovely luck.

people drive crazy here! hahaha, really they don't.. but they flow with each other. a scooter/motorbike may be going the wrong way on one side, but whatever. just accomodate. the honking, which is a lot, are usual warnings. "i am coming." our mini bus driver loves honking. it's not as threatening as how we would take it in north america.

oh yeah, one last thing. i swear. i'm walking on my own finally in this city, and i'm freaked out. i could never drive in this city. and! i could hardly walk. it's really scary walking across the street. people just go even if it's red. but! it just flowed. everyone was aware of everyone. all accomodating. again, different method.